Am I a consumer, or a neighbour?
In our work with children and young people, we invite them to reflect on a question. This question is implicit throughout our KS2 and KS3/4 programmes. And it’s an important one. Here, Jo Stow asks ‘Am I a consumer, or a neighbour?’
In the west, our neoliberal culture evangelises young people to be consumers – of social media, of products and of each other. Data from 2024 shows that a quarter of 3-4 year olds owned a smartphone, and that nine in 10 children own a mobile phone by the time they reach the age of 11.
Our children are immersed in an online world that grooms them to be consumers through constant advertising, but also through increasingly harmful content. According to a report for the Children’s Commissioner for England, a quarter of 16-21-year-olds first saw pornography on the internet while still at primary school. By the age of 13, 50% had been exposed, with three in five secondary school-aged children having been contacted online in ways that made them feel uncomfortable.
This, along with an over emphasis on rights rather than responsibilities, breeds a culture that induces fear, confusion and profound unhappiness as evidenced by the loneliness and poor mental health of many children and teens today. Our children and young people were not made for this.
The realities can seem overwhelming and can appear insurmountable. But in contrast to the self-obsessed worldview of this individualistic culture, Pentecost tells a radically different story, a story of self-giving.
The action of the Holy Spirit initiated a revolution. The anxious apostles received the Holy Spirit and were filled with joy and a fearless zeal to proclaim the risen Christ. The doors of self-protection were flung open and the people in the surrounding streets were drawn to this countercultural message of hope. Peter issued an invitation for people to repent and be baptised. Previously hidden, the apostles literally gave themselves away, and the church grew.
So, what has the Common Good got to do with the Spirit-filled proclamation of the Gospel? In Acts, immediately after reports that “three thousand were added to their number” (Acts 2:41) we observe that the shared life of the new Christian community was so distinctive that it drew people’s curiosity.
The generosity of this community included material needs being met, breaking bread in each other’s homes and living alongside each other. There was deep connection, participation and reciprocity between them. When it was discovered that people were being left out of the daily distribution of food (Acts 6:1-7), action was taken, with seven deacons known to be full of the spirit and wisdom, appointed for this task.
This is what being a neighbour rather than a consumer looks like. Our young people need help to resist the toxic pressures of this culture of isolation and learn how to build mutual responsibility and civic friendship. We must shift our focus to who is around us. Simply noticing is the first step.
In our work with Common Good Schools, we ask our partner schools to identify who is in the neighbourhood. For Christian teachers and students, this includes an attentiveness to see where the Holy Spirit is already at work so that they can join in. There will already be people and groups that they know and relate to, and some where a meaningful relationship is yet to be established. The next steps are connection and conversation. As relationships develop, young people will get to know people they would not ordinarily meet.
But will these acts of neighbourliness facilitate an encounter with Christ? Sometimes there is an assumption that evangelistic proclamation of the gospel and “social action” are separate activities, even as different departments of church life. But when the two are in harmony, healthy fruit grows.
Matt belongs to a small Baptist church in Leeds that my husband pastors. Matt and his wife Chrissy (not their real names) live a stone’s throw from the church. The story of how he came to be part of the worshipping community is instructive. A neighbour had invited Chrissy along to the Friday morning ‘Drop-In’ for a bacon sandwich. There, she encountered a welcoming community of parents with young children, local elderly residents, immediate neighbours and church members. She enjoyed the friendship.
Weeks later, Matt came too. He found people with common interests and connections. This led to the couple attending a friend’s baptism service. And the rest is history. For Matt, it wasn’t just a case of belonging. He had felt a desire for God emerging as he watch his wife go off to Drop-In. With a tear in his eye, he conveyed what it meant to develop a relationship with God, and to able to contribute to the life of the church.
If we don’t operate as good neighbours, getting to know people and inviting them to contribute, we are not only limiting their opportunities to encounter the love of Christ, we are also missing out on what the Holy Spirit is doing in our area in his work of renewal. This applies not only to churches but also to church schools.
For Matt, it was important that he could make a contribution, but for our young people, taking responsibility and contributing doesn’t always come naturally.
In my spare time, I recently helped to run an Alpha course. I noticed that at first, the older participants attended only if they could offer something. They cooked, baked, or welcomed. Younger participants in their teens and twenties enjoyed what was laid on but didn’t proactively offer help, although were happy to if asked. However, as the course went on things changed.
Through time together over meals, conversation, laughter and deep sharing, intergenerational friendships formed, and the young people naturally began to offer to contribute. They were starting to learn, slowly, what it is like to give as well as receive.
Maybe being raised as a consumer steals young people’s confidence in having something important to contribute? Such a solipsistic life risks isolation and lack of meaning, making them vulnerable to manipulation.
Pentecost calls us to a different story. Building local relationships through the power of the Holy Spirit enables our young people to experience first-hand the fundamental difference between being a consumer and a neighbour. Strengthening us for an uncertain future, the Spirit is drawing us into a countercultural movement of mutuality and joy.
Jo Stow is Project Leader, Common Good Schools
T4CG’s Common Good Schools programme equips schools to enable children and young people develop skills around building relationships and taking responsibility. Schools acting as good neighbours in their communities not only strengthen their own students but make a tangible contribution to the shared life of their neighbourhood. Find out more and arrange a conversation with Jo here